Self-agrandization through the humiliation and minimization of others.

Yes, the title is a mouthful. The one I originally had in mind was far less wordy, far more obscene and to put it bluntly, a slander lawsuit waiting to happen. That being said, on with the rant!

What, you might ask, is self aggrandization?

In layman's terms, to self aggrandize is to toot your own horn. This in itself is bad enough. No one likes a cocky bastard. It goes without saying that anyone who does this deserves to have their ass kicked. Anyone who would self aggrandize through the humiliation and minimization of others deserves to have a large man's foot permanently implanted in their rectum. You can thank me for that mental image later. Are there actually people who do this? Hell yes.

Ever meet someone who shamelessly boasts about his or her accomplishments, then compares them to yours? Ever met someone who does this in public, in front of people you both know? If the answer is yes, you have my sympathy. Dealing with people like this has to be one of the most frustrating, aggravating, headache-inducing experiences known to man. And believe me, I know frustrating. I used to work with adolescents.

I think the most exasperating thing about this sort of person is that he or she often deserves pity. It's so easy to hate these people. Nothing is more satisfying than imagining how fun it would be to staple things to an egoist's head. But the sad fact is that people who spend that much time bragging and attention-whoring often do it to hide the fact that they are insecure and angry. I've known of one person like this. She was the victim of a mother who wanted to live vicariously through her child. After a decade of being dragged to every beauty pageant and singing competition within 300 kilometers of home, this poor girl can't go half an hour without finding some way to make sure someone is envious of her. In her attempts to fool people into thinking she is somehow better than them, she has failed to learn a few important life lessons. Most noteably the fact that when she gets out into the real world, it is highly unlikely that people are going to put up with her self-absorbed nature. That's the unfortunate thing about being an asshole. Sooner or later someone's going to point out that fact and you'll end up alone.