Blazing Leaves of Autumn

I walk the streets silently, gusts of wind blowing the colourful fallen leaves around my feet. I've always liked Autumn. As the trees fade and slip into states of suspended animation, they go out with a bang, igniting themselves in brilliant shades of red, yellow and orange. For a few short weeks in October, the forests are ablaze before the more unfriendly elements of Autumn tear the leaves away, leaving the trees bare and lifeless. Before long, the leaves that dance in the wind will fade to an ugly shade of brown, the pleasant crispness in the air will turn to a bitter cold and for the next four months everything will fade to shades of grey.

I have come to appreciate Winter. I suppose at some level I identify with it. The quiet melancholy of the season mirrors my mindset and demeanor. People rarely appreciate the season. They find it unforgiving and unpleasant. They do not see the good qualities. With the melancholy comes a peaceful calm that allows time for reflection. It gives us a chance to look at where we have gone, what we have done, and what we want to do. It gives us time to plan. With the good comes the bad. There are days when the wind blows angrily, each frosty gust like a dagger that can pierce through thick layers of clothing as if they are tissue paper and freeze you down to the bone. There are days when the snow falls so thickly that the world seems to disappear, leaving you alone to wonder if you'll ever see the sun again.

Then suddenly the snow clouds are gone and the frosty bite leaves the air. Slowly the snow melts away and everything begins to wake up. The love songs of birds fill the air as they return with the sun.

As I walk into the park, I see many of the trees are naked, their dark grey branches exposed, remaining still and lifeless despite the fact that the day is windy. Dead brown leaves crunch under my feet and get blown into the near by sewer grate. A frosty gust of wind blows open my jacket and leaves me chilled, a harsh reminder that it won't be long until these dead leaves will be covered in a blanket of ice and snow.

Slipping my hands into my pockets, I look to the west, watching the sun slip down behind the trees, painting the clouds shades of pink, gold and purple. The leaves are not the only things that go out with a bang. As the calmness and melancholy of Winter begins to work its way into my psyche, I smile and wave. I bid farewell to the sun and the blazing leaves of Autumn.

'Till death do us part...

...what's the point if you're both miserable?

There are times when I will be sitting in my favourite chair at Starbucks watching the patrons come in and out, and I will spot an old couple whispering to each other softly over a shared muffin and tall lattes. Through the years of adversity, they persevered and came out of it not hating each other. These couples always make me smile. There are far too few of them.

More often, I see middle-aged couples screaming at each other, any tenderness and affection they felt long gone, replaced by a seething resentment for years wasted and opportunities lost. Sometimes they stay together "for the kids." Sometimes they only stay together because they're both too stubborn to "admit defeat." Sometimes it's a combination of the two, or in some cases bizarre, perverse reasons incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't known the joys of marital bliss.

I have a pair of relatives who fit into that category. My aunt is married to a man who barely qualifies as a human. He spends his days rooted to a broken easy chair while his 600 pound ass continues to expand and his limbs slowly rot from lack of use. This man has made the past 37 years of her life a living hell. The woman says on a regular basis that she hates his guts, and that he drives her crazy. When asked why she has stayed with him, she doesn't even give a straight answer. Maybe years of being a victim has left her believing that if she doesn't have a sad excuse for a husband to complain about, she'll lose what few family ties she has left. Maybe she just feels an obligation to stay with that horse's ass. God knows the man wouldn't survive long without her there. The dumb fucker can't even stand without help. The thing is, my aunt is not a bad woman. She doesn't deserve to spend whatever time she has left stuck with that sentient tumor draining whatever self respect she has left. Life is too short to spend it in misery.

I've seen far less extreme instances where people have ended up just as miserable. Parents who stay together for the sake of their children don't give their kids enough credit. Kids know when their parents are fighting. It doesn't take a lot of cognitive ability to figure out the fact that a pair of people can't stand eachother. Just because you can be civil doesn't mean your distain for your spouse isn't painfully obvious.

What people don't seem to realize is that no one wins in situations like this. My aunt's son is a fine example. 18 years of living with a mildly retarded lunatic and a woman too stubborn to leave him left the poor guy with more issues than National Geographic.

What really saddens me is the fact that by the time marital unions deteriorate so far that there is no love left, there often comes with it a sense of resentment and a desire to make one's partner miserable. When they finally admit it's time for divorce, they're already so mad at eachother that they choose to continue torturing each other through the divorce process rather than trying to make it as quick and painless as possible.

Why does this happen? Why do people choose to keep riding the masochistic marry-go-round that is an unhappy marriage when nothing good will come of it?

Life is short, people. Why make your lives unnecessarily miserable?

What the hell is wrong with women these days?

This post could be on any number of topics, most noteably the issue about women starving and mutilating themselves to keep up with the impossible standard set by the media. I am delighted to inform you that it is not. Don't get me wrong, that is a huge issue. What people don't seem to realize is that you have to deal with a problem at the source when it is still small, otherwise it's damned near impossible to fix the damage that has been done. Besides, there have been more than enough rants and articles about eating disorders and plastic surgery. I'm taking a slightly different route.

Has anyone else ever noticed that many girls seem to feel the need to play dumb in the presence of men? It seems that every time I leave the house, I encounter at least one girl who clearly has the potential to be a smart, sensible individual acting like a moron just because there's a possibility of getting fucked.

Is this some sort of leftover behaviour from back when women were considered property? Do girls still believe that they have to pretend to be cretins in order to get any attention from the opposite sex? Maybe there is some kernel of truth to this belief. It seems like the sexy bimbo is always the one who ends up with men eating out of the palm of her hand. But honestly, is a bit of affection really worth more than respect? Call me crazy, but I would choose to live my life alone with the respect I deserve before I would roll over and beg for a roll in the sack with some dude who can't count past ten without taking off his shoes.

A few girls I know seem to think that pretending to be an idiot is cute. For those who might be reading this, allow me to clarify a few things for you: IT'S NOT CUTE, AND IT'S NOT FUNNY! For any other females who have the misfortune to experience this nauseating display, it's annoying as hell. Any males who see you act like this will at best tag you as an easy lay. Pull your head of your ass and take a good, long look at yourself. If you don't see an error to your ways, you deserve the inevitable shitty treatment you have coming to you.